I Hate Teenagers

I hate teenagers.  I hated teenagers when I was a teenager.  They're crazy, hormonal, and have yet to learn the consequences of their actions.  But most importantly, they start and participate in stupid trends!  This news story about teenage werewolves really irritates me.

First of all, they're not that original.  Furries, anyone?  They make a point to say that they're not goth or emo.  I'm pretty sure those groups wouldn't allow them to join.  "Sorry, your fake tail distracts from the dark pain of our souls."  They're not the only group of kids who don't feel like they fit in and they won't be the last.  Like the counselor said, they're just expressing themselves.

Speaking of the adults, I do like the fact that the school administration did stand up for them by saying they are not a threat to the learning environment and do not disrupt the lives of other students.  Rarely does a school allow 'strange' behavior such as this and also defend it to the public.  Really, the group's rebellion is ruined because the adults 'get it.'  They know why they're doing it and they don't care.  I'm sure they did crazier shit.  That's why I like the mom at the end of the clip.  She doesn't stop him, but also doesn't allow him to be a whiny wolf bitch in the house and it's not like they're drinking baby's blood or something.

Second, these kids are really fucking dumb.  The girl they interview who said that gangs were just posers looking for attention was asking for trouble.  Yeah, maybe some 'gangs' in your school are posers, but there are real gangs in big cities, you know, like the one you live in that are probably related to the poser ones in your school.  You are asking to get your ass kicked.  Although, since your group hangs out IN FRONT OF A MALL, you probably live in the suburbs and have never seen a real gang of any sort.

Third, THEY HANG OUT IN FRONT OF A MALL!  If that doesn't scream, loser group that does really want to fit in with the popular kids, but can't because they're 'different' so decide to hang out where the cool kids might to feel a little more cool, I don't know what does.  Sorry to burst your bubble, but the cool kids are probably just stopping by the mall to get a new outfit because they have a kick ass party to go to and drink cheap beer and wine coolers.  They don't hang out at the mall in the afternoon.  Only poser kids do that.

I would tell you to go hang out in someone's basement, but how will you be able to stick it to the man (mall security)?  You need to be able to be a smart-ass to someone of authority to feel young and non-conformist.  Also, hanging out in front of the mall must be convenient when you find out that everyone else has on four chains when you only have three.  You're right by the Hot Topic to pick up a new one.

Fourth, I hate their contacts.  I remember those being new and cool when my brother was a teenager in the late 90s.  They aren't new anymore and you look ridiculous wearing them outside the month of October.  I think the thing I hated the most about it was the damn kids with the contacts and then wearing fucking glasses.  Fucking posers to the max.  They do make those cat eye contacts that also function like actual contacts.  Of course I bet that those contacts and black framed glasses are all cosmetic.

When I was a kid I really wanted braces and glasses because I thought they would make me look cool (I guess I thought being a dork was the ultimate cool).  I did end up with both (but had switched to contacts before the braces) and did not look any more cool.  I switched back to my glasses because my contacts were killing my fucking eyes!  I have a small muddy ring around my irises from wearing bad contacts prescribed by my doctor that were fucking killing those cells. So no, your contacts and glasses do not make you look more unique or express your true identity, they make you look like a stupid poser who will probably go blind from this fashion choice.

What happened to just having goth kids?  I liked them.  We got along well.  Or even goat ropers.  At least they didn't wear tails around.

Sleeping Is Hard

I have a hard time getting to sleep.  Every night.  This might be because I probably have RLS (damn genetics).  Either way I decided to look up insomnia on Wikipedia.

According to the Wikipedia page there are three types of insomnia, transient, acute, and chronic.  I do not have any of those.  I have this issue every night.  I am never tired at night.  If I ever am tired, it is not enough to cause me to sleep.  I do have one of the four patterns of insomnia!  Onset insomnia!  Usually the cause of an anxiety disorder!  Let's take a look at the anxiety disorder page.  Yes, I probably have anxiety due to stress.

I do have social anxiety disorder (SAD).  You're probably thinking, 'You can't have SAD.  You seem pretty normal and social.'  Wrong!  I panic around people.  I hate parties or gatherings even if I know everyone.  I tend to panic and feel ill.  I also fear using the telephone.  The thought of calling someone, especially someone I don't know and trying to ask a question or hold a conversation freaking me out.  I will refuse to call places or people unless absolutely necessary.  I will spend five to ten minutes hyping myself up to make the call.  I will rehearse what I want to say, probably chicken out for a second, hyperventilate, compose myself, make the call all while shaking, hang up, and spend the next five minutes trying to lower my heart rate.  I've some what forced myself to get over this fear by working at places where I have to answer the phone.  At first it was really hard, but when I'm at work I'm the person with the power and so answering the phone is easier.  I still have issues with calling people. I just can't do it.

My fear of phones might also be because my brother convinced me that they were actually bombs that would blow up if you left the phone off the hook and it started to beep.  He used to leave the phone off the hook so that when it would start beeping I would come running, screaming, possibly tearing up, and slam the phone back on the hook.  Everyone thought it was hilarious, except me.  This might also be why I hate any repetitive beeping or ticking.  

I will also rehearse having conversations with people in my head before I see them.  I'm sure I could go on about how crippling my social anxiety disorder is, but that is not the topic of this post.  Anyway, maybe SAD is the reason why I can't sleep.

Back to insomnia, maybe I don't produce enough melatonin.  That might be why I cannot fall asleep ever.  My former roommate Jordan used to have melatonin vitamins that she would take sometimes to regulate her sleep cycle.  Man, she would take one and be out like a light in about 30 minutes.  Nothing could wake her up either until the morning.  I've tried to find these vitamins to try to get my sleep cycle back to something reasonable, but I cannot find them anywhere.  Apparently, they're pretty illegal in other countries, but not in the US.  My local Target does not sell it.  Henry thought I was making it up (the vitamin, not the actual existence of melatonin).  I did end up getting some Target brand generic sleep aid pills.  They work a little, but usually aren't strong enough.

Then I thought, maybe I have fatal familial insomnia.  But then I realized no one in my family has ever had it.  But damn, it sounds fascinating.  You start with some insomnia leading to panic attacks, paranoia, and phobias.  Then you start to hallucinate and have more pronounced panic attacks.  Eventually you cannot sleep again and lose a whole bunch of weight.  It ends with dementia and then you die.  Wouldn't that just suck?

I probably don't have any type of insomnia.  I probably just suck at falling asleep.  

Sound Noise

The following are the most commonly heard phrases in our apartment.  Enjoy.

• Dammit Henry.
• I'm a bear.
• I'm a cat.
• Meow
• Woof
• Rwar
• I has a hat.
• Do you like my hat?
• You do it.
• You're closer.  
• Is this clean?
• Do you smell that?
• I am Mega Man.  Here's my mega plan.
• Hey Roof Cat.
• The fishies agree with me.
• Did you feed the fishies?
• Eh...
• Are you a bear?
• Why is this in the middle of the floor?
• I'm hungry.
• It's hot.
• I'm cold.
• Please?
• Hello (not in greeting, but repeated back and forth over and over)
• I tweeted it. or I will post that on twitter.
• I blame you, Henry.
• I shared things with you.

That's all I can think of right now.  I'm sure we say stranger things, but we're probably too embarrassed to admit them.

"We are rock stars"

Last night, Henry and I were really hungry.  We've had take out for all of our meals recently because we're too lazy to go grocery shopping.  Too tired to think of a place to eat at 9:30 p.m., we got in the car and drove all the way to the Walmart on Cantrell. You'd think we'd go to the one a block away, but it's really creepy and closes at 10:00 p.m.  I cannot remember the last time we went grocery shopping during the day.  We used to go to Kroger and the one on Chenal is supposed to be open 24 hours, but when we go there late at night the doors are blocked by carts, indicating to us that they're closed.

We went to the store with the intention of getting groceries, but also to pick up something for dinner that night.  Once inside, I lament that we should get a Sam's card and save more money and get things in bulk (like peanut butter, because SOMEONE really, really likes to eat it all the time [not me]).  Henry just had to point out that we would have to go during the day, you know, when the sun is out and stuff.  I think they should just be open later.  I don't have time to go during the day unless I actually get up early in the morning, which, let's face it, never happens.  Or that we could go on the weekend, but I'll never remember to go do that.  I'm lucky if I remember what day it is.

Before we had left for the store we tried to take stock of what we needed.  I think as soon as we got in the car we forgot most of what we came up with.  It's like a really bad matching game when you go to the store without a shopping list.  You wonder if you need that block of cheese, decide that you cannot live without it, and come home to find that you already had three perfectly good blocks of cheese.  Thankfully, we are not over run with cheese (just one block for tacos and crackers).

Most of the grocery trip was menial, do we need this?  Will we ever get around to eating that?  Sort of deal.  Although, we did have a good discussion of chip and dip preferences.  With regards to cheese dip, tortilla chips are the top way to go, but once in awhile Fritos and Ruffles are delicious.  We ended up getting some pre-made cheese dip, salsa, and tortilla chips.

The last stop on our shopping journey was the ice cream aisle of happiness.  There are two types of giant ice cream containers, Blue Bunny and Country Rich.  Now, Blue Bunny is a big, round container, while Country Rich is a space saver, square tub.  Blue Bunny is seven dollars, while Country Rich was on sale for five dollars.  The following debate occurred.

Me:  Which one, Blue Bunny or Country Rich?

Henry:  Blue Bunny.

Me:  That's a seven dollar tub of ice cream.  Country Rich is only five.

Henry:  But it looks weird!  It probably tastes weird too.

Me:  Fine, which flavor, chocolate chip or cookies and cream?

Henry:  Chocolate chip.

Me:  I want cookies and cream.

Henry:  Too bad, maybe you shouldn't have asked me which one I wanted.

We got the chocolate chip.

On our way to the checkout lane I asked what we were going to eat for dinner.

Me:  What are we going to eat for dinner?

I looked in the cart and surveyed what we had picked up.  None of it screamed, 'we're perfect to eat for dinner right now.'  Maybe it's a good thing food isn't talking to me, yet.

Me:  Chips and cheese dip?

Henry:  Yep.  We are rock stars.

Fruit Loops

I've never been a huge fan of Fruit Loops.  Last weekend I inhaled the aroma of a lime and thought, 'hey, that smells like Fruit Loops.'  Since then I have been dying to get my hands on a nice bowl of the multi-colored loops that taste like sugar and nothing like fruit.  This morning my dream was achieved.

Henry and I were watching Modern Family when we had to pause the playback so that Hulu could freaking buffer and not stall on us.  Henry went to the kitchen to get himself a glass of soda.  I took advantage of his proximity to the cereal and milk I so desired.  

Me:  Oh!  Oh!  Oh!  Do you know what would make you the best person is the whole wide world?!  

Henry stares at me waiting to hear my probably crazy follow up.

Me:  If you got me a bowl of Fruit Loops.

Henry:  I assume you want milk?

Me:  Yes and a spoon!

Henry:  Did you need to tell me you wanted a spoon?

Me:  Well, I felt I had to clarify since I only asked for a bowl and you had to ask me about the milk.  I'd rather you know that I'd also like a spoon than to get no spoon at all.  

As he poured my bowl of cereal, I commented once again that limes smell like Fruit Loops.  I watched as he stuck his face towards the opening of the box and inhaled.  

Henry:  I will agree the Fruit Loops smell a little like limes.  

Me:  Limes smell like Fruit Loops!

Henry:  Yes, but limes were around before Fruit Loops, but I guess you knew Fruit Loops before limes.

Me:  You've figured out my logic.  

It's true.  I knew all about Fruit Loops before I was ever introduced to limes.  In fact, I cannot remember the first time I saw a lime in real life.  I don't think I even tasted an actual lime until I did that one shot of Patron.   Even then I thought that the lime tasted like Fruit Loops.  I think I might like limes.  Or Fruit Loops.  It's hard to tell.  

Honesty

Henry and I have been reading a lot of Hyperbole and a Half recently.  I told him that her logic is how I think or see a lot of things.  It's really like being in my brain.  Henry thinks I should be more honest about my 'crazy' thoughts and write them down or verbalize them.  I told him I tried that when I was nine and it did not work out in my favor, but I would try again now.  It's not like my craziness is going to affect anything since he's the only one who really reads this anyway.  What better way to start off this honesty with a post about when I learned not to say what I was really thinking out loud.

When I was nine, my family visited the Sea World park in Ohio.  There was an attraction there where you would stand on a moving sidewalk that went through a glass tunnel under the shark tank.  About half way through this attraction, I turned to my family and said the following, "I'm glad none of these sharks are suicidal.  They'd swim through the glass and start attacking everyone.  And everyone would be all starts flailing arms about and screaming, while the shark was trying to take as many people with it as it could."  My father, mother, and brother just stared at me.  It was as if they had just watched another head sprout out of my neck.  If anyone said anything I cannot remember it now.  And this incident has never been spoken of again by any of them.  That was when I learned to keep my crazy thoughts to myself.  No one will understand them and they will just stare at you like you are a three headed dog.

My mother once told me that the main piece of advice she would give people who were watching me was, "nod your head and smile."  Now whenever someone does that to me when I talk to them I feel self-conscious about what I am saying.  I assume they think I'm crazy.  So be prepared to read more crazy posts about what I am really thinking.

Dancing With Myself

It's no surprise that I adore the show Glee.  It's quirky, sometimes smart, and has musical numbers!  I feel giddy when I can curl up on the couch for an hour a week and really get into a show like this.  One of my favorite things about it are the musical numbers.  They're incorporated into the show through actual glee club performances or character dream sequences.  Most of the time they don't feel forced, but rather feel like a natural thing for the characters to do.


Their song catalog so far has been very impressive.  They've covered 80's ballads, recent hip-hop numbers, and some good old fashioned malt shop numbers.  My all time favorite cover (so far) on the show is 'Dancing with Myself' as sung by Kevin Michael McHale playing the wheel-chair bound character Artie (video here).  His cover is a version of the cover done by Nouvelle Vague.  The song was originally done by the band Generation X (which consisted of Tony James and Billy Idol) and was later covered by Idol on his self-titled album.  


The song seems to fit the character at that moment so well.  He's different from all the other Glee kids not by popularity, but because he is bound to his chair.  He can't ride the same bus they get to ride to regionals and getting into the auditorium for practice is quite a difficulty.  He also cannot move around and perform like the other kids.  Rather than be pitied by his peers, they see him as just another person.  All the difficulties he has to face to be a part of the group do not bother them and they assume he's used to it because that's just how he has to do things.  Sure, he's nice enough to write it off and agree with them, but just like Mr. Shue, I feel bad for the kid.  He deserves better.  He should be able to ride the same bus and be a part of the fun of the ride rather than be stuck riding with his dad.


Anyway, back to the song.  I've always liked this song.  There's something about the beat and lyrics that make me feel like moving around and lonely at the same time.  I know that doesn't sound like a good combination, but when you're feeling down it's nice to dance around to a song that best expresses that feeling.    That might also be why I enjoy this song so much.


So go dance with yourself!  Note:  I do not mean go masterbate.  That is not what the song is about even though it sounds like it.  It's actually about a dance club in Tokyo.  Fun facts!


Edit:  My font formating refuses to cooperate with this post.  I cannot kill it with fire.