Monday, May 24, 2010

I Hate Teenagers

I hate teenagers.  I hated teenagers when I was a teenager.  They're crazy, hormonal, and have yet to learn the consequences of their actions.  But most importantly, they start and participate in stupid trends!  This news story about teenage werewolves really irritates me.

First of all, they're not that original.  Furries, anyone?  They make a point to say that they're not goth or emo.  I'm pretty sure those groups wouldn't allow them to join.  "Sorry, your fake tail distracts from the dark pain of our souls."  They're not the only group of kids who don't feel like they fit in and they won't be the last.  Like the counselor said, they're just expressing themselves.

Speaking of the adults, I do like the fact that the school administration did stand up for them by saying they are not a threat to the learning environment and do not disrupt the lives of other students.  Rarely does a school allow 'strange' behavior such as this and also defend it to the public.  Really, the group's rebellion is ruined because the adults 'get it.'  They know why they're doing it and they don't care.  I'm sure they did crazier shit.  That's why I like the mom at the end of the clip.  She doesn't stop him, but also doesn't allow him to be a whiny wolf bitch in the house and it's not like they're drinking baby's blood or something.

Second, these kids are really fucking dumb.  The girl they interview who said that gangs were just posers looking for attention was asking for trouble.  Yeah, maybe some 'gangs' in your school are posers, but there are real gangs in big cities, you know, like the one you live in that are probably related to the poser ones in your school.  You are asking to get your ass kicked.  Although, since your group hangs out IN FRONT OF A MALL, you probably live in the suburbs and have never seen a real gang of any sort.

Third, THEY HANG OUT IN FRONT OF A MALL!  If that doesn't scream, loser group that does really want to fit in with the popular kids, but can't because they're 'different' so decide to hang out where the cool kids might to feel a little more cool, I don't know what does.  Sorry to burst your bubble, but the cool kids are probably just stopping by the mall to get a new outfit because they have a kick ass party to go to and drink cheap beer and wine coolers.  They don't hang out at the mall in the afternoon.  Only poser kids do that.

I would tell you to go hang out in someone's basement, but how will you be able to stick it to the man (mall security)?  You need to be able to be a smart-ass to someone of authority to feel young and non-conformist.  Also, hanging out in front of the mall must be convenient when you find out that everyone else has on four chains when you only have three.  You're right by the Hot Topic to pick up a new one.

Fourth, I hate their contacts.  I remember those being new and cool when my brother was a teenager in the late 90s.  They aren't new anymore and you look ridiculous wearing them outside the month of October.  I think the thing I hated the most about it was the damn kids with the contacts and then wearing fucking glasses.  Fucking posers to the max.  They do make those cat eye contacts that also function like actual contacts.  Of course I bet that those contacts and black framed glasses are all cosmetic.

When I was a kid I really wanted braces and glasses because I thought they would make me look cool (I guess I thought being a dork was the ultimate cool).  I did end up with both (but had switched to contacts before the braces) and did not look any more cool.  I switched back to my glasses because my contacts were killing my fucking eyes!  I have a small muddy ring around my irises from wearing bad contacts prescribed by my doctor that were fucking killing those cells. So no, your contacts and glasses do not make you look more unique or express your true identity, they make you look like a stupid poser who will probably go blind from this fashion choice.

What happened to just having goth kids?  I liked them.  We got along well.  Or even goat ropers.  At least they didn't wear tails around.

No comments:

Post a Comment