So Some Stuff Happened...

It's been a year since I've written a blog post.  Technically over a year, but yeah, you get the idea.  A lot of things have gone down in that past year.

I moved...twice I think.  We moved from Little Rock to North Little Rock, and just two weeks ago we moved to California.  Like I said, a lot of stuff has happened.

I guess I should tell you how this all happened.

Last summer we were broke and needed to move and things were pretty dire.  Then around my birthday Henry got a real, adult job that actually paid well.  This was great and we were able to move into a nice house in a really good neighborhood.  I was happy with my work and things were generally pretty great.

In December Henry found out for sure that his company lost it's government contract due to new laws and stuff that I don't really understand.  In February, I got in a car accident (but I was totally fine, the car was not) and two days after that Henry found out the official end date for his job would be in August.  This was actually a good thing because our lease was up in August which made us flexible in location.

At the beginning of June, Henry's big job hunt began.  He started applying for positions he really wanted at the companies he really wanted to work for.  I began preparing myself for the very real fact that we were probably leaving the state.  This excited and terrified me at the same time.  For a few months I had no idea where I would be living, what I would be doing, or how we were going to survive it all.

In the end, he applied to I think over 30 jobs and only one of them was in the state.  The rest were spread out all over the country, but mainly along the west coast.  Then the waiting game began.  It was probably the worst part of this experience.  I couldn't plan anything long term, I was afraid to buy anything because we would just have to move it and we ate a lot of fast food because we didn't know when we would have to potentially move.

At the end of June, Henry got an email from a game company asking if he would like to do a phone interview.  That lead to two phone interviews and an in person interview at the beginning of July.  I can't say I was shocked, because I know Henry's awesome, but I was pretty dang happy about the whole thing.  His lack of emotion made mine go into over drive.

The weekend before my birthday we were driving up to Branson to go to Silver Dollar City (because it's awesome, don't theme park shame me) when the phone rang, we pulled into a parking lot for a natural food store in Harrison and Henry was formally offered a job with a video game company in San Francisco.  This made our trip all the more special because we finally knew what was going to happen to us next month and allowed us to revel in the weirdness that is the South because we were leaving it for an unfamiliar type of weird.  Side note: Yes, Henry took me to the Dixie Stampede for the first time.  It was awesome.  I will have to dedicate a post to that experience alone.

Now we were on a new path of packing or tossing all our belongings, getting married, and driving across the country with two cats.  So we did all those things.

The house getting boxed up

Getting Married

Driving across the country

Stay tuned for more detail about those exciting events.

When I'm Old I'll Be A Farmer

When I grow old and 'retire' I want a fiber farm.  Get some alpaca, sheep, and angora bunnies.  It would be awesome.  I could process the fiber and sell it wholesale or really pick up spinning.  It would be freaking awesome and cute and yeah.  Unfortunately, I am no good with farm animals.

Exhibit A:  I've been chased by a giant turkey and on a separate occasion a really mean goose.

The turkey was a maniac. It was basically a wild turkey although it lived in a pen in the backyard of some family friends.  I think I was about four when this happened.  We went over to their house and they asked if we wanted to see their turkey they were raising for Thanksgiving.  Of course I wanted to see a turkey alive.   I had only ever seen a Butterball before.

We went out to the backyard and we got in the pen.  Or at least they put me in it.  Or they let the turkey out.  I don't quite remember, I've pushed this memory to the back of my mind.  Anyway, the turkey and I were in the same area.  And it started moving towards me.  As it got closer I realized turkeys are ugly bastards.  It's eyes were crazy and it just kept moving faster towards me.  I ran.  I think my brother laughed at me.  I think we corralled the turkey back into its pen, but I was freaked.  I was reminded of this memory when we visited MH and saw my uncle's 'farm' in his backyard where he is keeping three turkeys.  I fucking hate turkeys now, but enjoy eating their delicious meat.

The goose isn't too uncommon.  All geese are dicks.  This one lived on my aunt Joy's farm.  It would follow me and honk.  I'm sure it was mocking six year old me.  Jerk.  It would also try to come up and bite people.  I have no idea why she kept that thing around.

Exhibit B:  A horse tried to eat me once.

This also happened at Joy's farm.  She was out of town and asked my dad to feed her animals.  This included a pig pen, two horses, a donkey, multiple dogs, and probably water fowl.  The horses were in separate fields because I think the female was pregnant and was being kept in the barn, while the male horse, Red, was in the big field.  My dad was feeding the animals in the barn and sent my brother and me to feed Red.

Red was a big horse.  He was typically mean, but not violent.  We walked up to the corner of the fence where we usually put out his food.  He saw us and knew he was getting some damn food.  I decided to stand by the fence to pet him and watch him eat.  Red saw my dirty blonde hair and saw it as a delicious hay snack.  Next thing I know there is a horse trying to eat my hair.  I'm crying, screaming at my brother that this horse is trying to eat me.

My brother runs away.  I panic more because now I'm alone, feeling the large teeth of a horse rub against my head.  My cowardly brother returns with my dad who gets me away from the killer horse.  So yeah, not a big fan of horses anymore.

My future of a fiber farm might be a little dangerous, but at least I can stop wearing tuxes after 6 p.m.

You Should Be Ashamed

Henry and I made a mix CD yesterday.  The rules we established were that it had to have geeky/nerdy songs, we would try to make it from Henry's music library (although we bought an MC Frontalot CD), and Henry wanted the Lonely Island/Justin Timberlake songs (but I had to cut 'Motherlover' cause I didn't think it fit with the overall flow and I've heard it enough recently).

1.  Going Back to Hogwarts -A Very Potter Musical Cast

This song is very catchy.  A little too catchy.  Although my favorite song from the musical is 'Ginny/Cho Chang' (just for the line "gonna take you to the city, get all up in your titties"), this song is a close second.

"No way this year anyone's gonna die and it's gonna be totally awesome!"

2.  Neville -MC Chris

Neville is a totally bad ass; especially in the last movie.

I swear there are no more Harry Potter songs on this play list.

3.  It Is Pitch Dark -MC Frontalot

I haven't watched Nerdcore Rising yet, but it's on my immediate to do list.

Always carry a torch.

4.  Dick In A Box -Lonely Island feat. Justin Timberlake

Part one of Henry's request.  It transitions us into the slower songs of the list.

This is not an acceptable birthday gift, Henry.

5.  SCV Love Song -NerdAlert

NerdAlert is a group put together by Husky (a Starcraft II commentator) and some other youtube stars.  They've made some fun Starcraft themed songs.  Although they mainly do spoofs of other songs, this is an original.

"We'll repair one another"

6.  Helix Nebula -Anamanaguchi

I love 8-bit music.  I believe that if you play any Anamanaguchi song while doing something boring makes it ten times more exciting.  I also believe that if you do the same action while playing a Frou Frou song it makes it deep and meaningful.

If only there was a local 8-bit music scene.  If there is, I am not cool enough to know about it.

7.  Roll a D6 -some people from the internet

I'm sure they have some sort of name, but I can't think of it right now.

"Give me a perception check"

8.  Banelings -NerdAlert

I haven't ever listened to Justin Beiber's 'Baby' except for the occasional sample (30 seconds or less).  Now whenever I hear a clip of that song I get disappointed when it's not 'Banelings.'

"Spawning on Lost Temple, man that map is so imba for terran"

9.  Blackout City -Anamanaguchi

Just because I could.

MOAR 8-BIT

10.  Still Alive -Jonathan Coulton

This might be the song that everyone knows even if they haven't heard of Portal.  It's a good song.

"These points of data make a beautiful line"

11.  Date My Avatar -Felicia Day (The Guild)

The Guild is possibly one of the funniest web series.

"Women, can't live with them; none of them will go out with me" -Vork

12.  3-way (The Golden Rule) -Lonely Island feat. Justin Timberlake and Lady Gaga

Best dated references ever?

"Your mom says hi.  Jinx."

13.  Nerdcore Rising -MC Frontalot

Henry and I agreed yesterday that when we have a kid and he or she releases their own nerdcore album, we hope they title it 'You Should Be Ashamed.'

"Exterminate!"

BONUS TRACK!  Reginald's Answering Machine Rap -MC Frontalot, written by Anthony Clark (Nedroid)

MC Frontalot recored the rap Anthony wrote for one of his characters.  It's quite awesome.  

Check out the comic here.

The song is here.  

It's Tough Being Awesome (But Not Awesome Enough)

I just got a call that I didn't get the Library Assistant job I interviewed for on Tuesday.  This totally blows.  The flip side is that the two wonderful women who interviewed me did say that I was, in fact, super awesome, but with 25 other applicants they just went with the one with the most experience in the end.  They did say that they do want me to work for them and that I should apply for the next opening because they were really impressed with my interview.

So, in one way I'm all sorts of bummed, but I'm also happy that they did actually like me.  Oh well.

Now my house is shaking from thunder and it's setting off other people's car alarms.  Today is not my day.  My cat George is looking at me like, "make it stop, please, just make it stop."  I'm sorry kitty.  Mommy has no control over the weather.

How Do Drive a Library Worker Crazy

Here's a few examples of the situations I deal with on a daily basis.  Some days I lose faith in humanity.

• Oh, you say you can't find these two books on our shelves for two days when the computer says they're in?  Let me go look.  Oh, they're right on the shelf in the correct location by call number!  I'm beginning to think you don't know what a book looks like or how to read.

• Slow down.  Don't run, please....  I am just a ghostly voice from the great beyond telling you not to run. 

• I cannot help you when you're talking on your cell phone.  Either finish your call outside or call them back.  Otherwise I will join in on your conversation or refuse to help you until you hang up.

• The cd/dvd/audiobook/playaway you are holding in your hand is in fact a cd/dvd/audiobook/playaway.  No, it is not a book.  Yes, I know the sticker says '14 day book,' but that's only to inform you that the you can only check out the item for 14 days.
  
  
• Yes, I need photo identification and two things with your name and current address to create a library account for you.  Yes, that's a Social Security card.  No, it does not count.  Why?  Because we're funded by county taxpayer money.  I'm glad you just live up the street, why don't you go home and get some bills or something for me to confirm your address.
  
• Fiction means stories that are not real.  Non-fiction means it's real, possibly educational and not what you're looking for.
  
• It's 9:00 p.m., please leave.  I gave you a 15, 10, 5, and 1 minute warning.  That does not mean you can keep browsing like you have nothing else to do.
  

This song came on while I was working on this post and figured it was a pretty good way to end this post.  

I Had a Turn Down Dream

Monday night my dreams betrayed me.

For those of you who do not know, I have an internet crush on Mr. Day[9].  Monday night I had a dream about him.

In the dream I had some dream friends that did not resemble anyone I actually know who were getting married.  Somehow I was a part of this wedding and we were having a friend/getting to know you night out with all the wedding party people.  At the dinner Mr. Day[9] sat across the table from me.  We instantly hit it off.  We made jokes and laughed.  I think at one point we made some sort of joke/reference to an Alanis Morissette song.

The group was leaving the restaurant and were heading to some sort of bar or something.   It was cold and dark outside and I had on a pair of fingerless gloves made from some scrap sock yarn I actually have.  As we were walking and laughing Day[9] coyly slid his hand into mine.

I stopped walking, turned to him and said, "Sean (his real name) I should tell you that I'm engaged.  I like you but I can't you know, do this."  He smiled, smiled said he understood and let go of my hand.  At that point, dream me was like 'damn why did I wear gloves?!'  Instead, he offered to be my escort and keep other guys from hitting on me or doing something uncouth.  For the rest of the night we hung out as friends and it was great.

I woke up and was so disappointed in dream me.  Seriously, it was a dream, not real, why oh why did you say that?!  I drifted back to sleep for a few minutes after this dream and Day[9] was there again.  This time I was single in the dream and we were about to set up information for a date when Fred decided it was time to wake up and mewed in my face.  Damn cats.

I heart you too Day[9].

The Story of My Birth Is Pretty Epic

I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say the story of my birth is pretty epic.  Okay, maybe not epic, but I think it's a pretty good story.  In fact, in high school I had to write a autobiographical story and chose to tell the following tale.  My teacher said she would have thought it was fake if she didn't know my cousin and heard great Novak tales from her.

It all started one July evening around 6:00 or 7:00 p.m.  My mom was at home with my brother (age 6) watching reruns of the Brady Bunch.  Her water broke and it was action time.  Grandman Dorthy picked up my brother and my mother headed to Novak Liquor to get my dad and they could go to the hospital.

My mom rushed into the store in a panic.  She was ready to get to the hospital and get this baby out.  My dad was calm and collected.  He told her not to worry and that they had plenty of time.  Dad had my mom sit behind the counter while he kept the store open and helped customers (it's a one man opperation).  So there they sat, timing contractions and talking to customers until 9:00 p.m. when my mom had had enough.  She wanted to go the hospital and she wanted to go right then!

For the first time in Novak Liquor history, the store closed early.  In my lifetime I can only think of two occasions where the store closed, for the funerals of my grandparents who had opened the store. 

Instead of heading to the hospital, my dad stopped at his parents' house that was right across the street from the store.  He did this every day he got off work to visit with them.  They chatted casually until my mom was fuming with anger.  Grandma Rose suggested that he might want to get her to the hospital.

They finally made it to the hospital around 10:30-11 p.m.  The night nurses got her settled in and my calm, collected dad started to panic.  He kept trying to leave the room.  My dad is squimish when it comes to pain.  My mom refused to let him leave and to keep him calm would laugh whenever it hurt rather than scream or cry out.  I mean, if you've ever seen any sort of real birth, you're familiar with the terrible sounds that emit from a woman.  Imagine instead loud bursts of laughter.  And David Letterman because that's what they were watching. 

Around 12:30 a.m. the nurses were frantically calling my mother's doctor to come in and get this birth underway.  He told them not to worry, I probably wouldn't come out until 6 or 7 a.m.  This doctor did not understand how badly I wanted out. 

At 1:10 a.m. on July 24, 1987 I came into the world.  The nurses were in a panic.  The only delivery doctor wasn't available because there was another couple who had gone into labor an hour or so before me.  They had to get me out themselves.  My dad was so excited he couldn't remember the weight and length so a nurse wrote it down for him on a post-it.   He still carries it in his wallet to this day. 

This story may not seem very epic right now, but if you ever hear me or my parents tell it in person you'll understand why I think it's so great.  I mean, I was almost born in the liquor store.  If my dad had waited until closing (11:30 p.m.) it would have been too late. 

In 9th grade we had to write a short autobiographical sotry of your life and I chose this one.  My teacher said that if she hadn't known my cousins she would have thought it was a work of fiction.