Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Honesty

Henry and I have been reading a lot of Hyperbole and a Half recently.  I told him that her logic is how I think or see a lot of things.  It's really like being in my brain.  Henry thinks I should be more honest about my 'crazy' thoughts and write them down or verbalize them.  I told him I tried that when I was nine and it did not work out in my favor, but I would try again now.  It's not like my craziness is going to affect anything since he's the only one who really reads this anyway.  What better way to start off this honesty with a post about when I learned not to say what I was really thinking out loud.

When I was nine, my family visited the Sea World park in Ohio.  There was an attraction there where you would stand on a moving sidewalk that went through a glass tunnel under the shark tank.  About half way through this attraction, I turned to my family and said the following, "I'm glad none of these sharks are suicidal.  They'd swim through the glass and start attacking everyone.  And everyone would be all starts flailing arms about and screaming, while the shark was trying to take as many people with it as it could."  My father, mother, and brother just stared at me.  It was as if they had just watched another head sprout out of my neck.  If anyone said anything I cannot remember it now.  And this incident has never been spoken of again by any of them.  That was when I learned to keep my crazy thoughts to myself.  No one will understand them and they will just stare at you like you are a three headed dog.

My mother once told me that the main piece of advice she would give people who were watching me was, "nod your head and smile."  Now whenever someone does that to me when I talk to them I feel self-conscious about what I am saying.  I assume they think I'm crazy.  So be prepared to read more crazy posts about what I am really thinking.

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