- Oh, you say you can't find these two books on our shelves for two days when the computer says they're in? Let me go look. Oh, they're right on the shelf in the correct location by call number! I'm beginning to think you don't know what a book looks like or how to read.
- Slow down. Don't run, please.... I am just a ghostly voice from the great beyond telling you not to run.
- I cannot help you when you're talking on your cell phone. Either finish your call outside or call them back. Otherwise I will join in on your conversation or refuse to help you until you hang up.
- The cd/dvd/audiobook/playaway you are holding in your hand is in fact a cd/dvd/audiobook/playaway. No, it is not a book. Yes, I know the sticker says '14 day book,' but that's only to inform you that the you can only check out the item for 14 days.
- Yes, I need photo identification and two things with your name and current address to create a library account for you. Yes, that's a Social Security card. No, it does not count. Why? Because we're funded by county taxpayer money. I'm glad you just live up the street, why don't you go home and get some bills or something for me to confirm your address.
- Fiction means stories that are not real. Non-fiction means it's real, possibly educational and not what you're looking for.
- It's 9:00 p.m., please leave. I gave you a 15, 10, 5, and 1 minute warning. That does not mean you can keep browsing like you have nothing else to do.
This song came on while I was working on this post and figured it was a pretty good way to end this post.